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Submitted on
July 13, 2005
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Three and Four

Three years old:
Torn apart.
Left with you;
A mistake

Ragged breath,
Tiny hands,
Sunlit room,
It’s a lie!

You killed her.
You burned her.
You broke her.
You scorned her.

Try not to
Feel despair;
Gasp for air,
Try to run!

Worth nothing
To no one,
With no life
In her eyes;

The bedroom,
A locked door;
The bathroom’s
Bloody floor…

The mirror
That’s broken—
There’s my face
In the sink.
New poem, just for fun. Once again, I'm not entirely sure this one belongs in macabre/horror, but nothing else really fits.

Eventually I'll add a picture. I don't have one right now, though.

There's a definite meter here, though it may feel wierd at first. This poem is a number motif; namely 3. (and 4, for the number of lines). The girl is 3, there are 3 syllables per line, the meter changes at every third stanza, etc. Rhyming is sporadic; it's not the point. I may tweak it more later, as I read it and decide I hate it. Yes, it's a little obscure; yes, it's supposed to be.

Edit: I took =swiftstick's advice and changed the '...' at the end to a single period. I like it better like that.
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:iconforevereve:
ForeverEve Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2008
She means the world to me...
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:iconk-hallowseve:
k-hallowseve Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:heart: Why, thank you. I'll be sure to relay the message. :hug:
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:iconforevereve:
ForeverEve Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2008
I'm sitting here reading your stuff, bc I'm feeling especially masochistic. But more importantly right now, I feel homocidal. It's such a rare occasion, I felt the need to share XD. Feel free to delete this comment, just... read the bottom before you do. <3
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:iconk-hallowseve:
k-hallowseve Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Make it look like an accident; that's all I can say. ;)
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:iconflame-fist:
flame-fist Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2006  Student Writer
I guess I am no the only North Carolinian who writes sad stuff
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:iconflame-fist:
flame-fist Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2006  Student Writer
I guess I am no the only North Carolinian who writes sad stuff
Reply
:iconk-hallowseve:
k-hallowseve Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Huzzah for Cackalacky. :P

Yeah, it was really weighing on my mind. It kinda wrote itself. ^^;
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:iconflame-fist:
flame-fist Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2006  Student Writer
that happens sometimes
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:iconk-hallowseve:
k-hallowseve Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yep. :nod:
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:iconswiftstick:
swiftstick Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2005
I like it, *especially* the last stanza. It's very... I don't know the word, but kind of like you hit a certain emotion right on.

One thing I would change, though, is the "..." at the end (eek don't know how to spell it). I feel like "There's my face/ in the sink" should be a statement, not something left undone.
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